Pateman's Adventure Holiday 2- Carry on Camping

To anyone who has ever accused me of having a passing resemblance to Stan Laurel, I look at this photo and think "fair enough". The expression I am going for is comic perplexity as we discovered a lonely thong (AKA flip flop) drifting mysteriously at Ladies well. This was our first "ooh that's pretty "stop on our long awaited camping trip with John and Lisa. We had all approached the trip with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Tina and I, as you may well know ,are not seasoned campers. Lisa was equally anxious that we would have a nice time. John's trepidation was born out of wondering whether I was as inept at camping as I was at sailing. Let's just say none of us were let down.


Key concern was the weather. We are heading rapidly towards winter over here and our destination, Barrington Tops national Park, is pretty high and pretty cold but as you can see below the sun was battling through and Tina was warm enough with a son to cuddle and her new elephant grey "slob suit" to keep her warm.


After "Stan" had read the map wrong, we made a detour up Mount Allyn admired the views and descended rapidly to make our way to the campsite before nightfall. The campsite itself (unimaginatively titled "The lease") exceeded our expectations as we were relieved to find that Pit toilets and washing in the river was not to be. Nightfall was approaching so it was all hands on deck to put the tents up. Anybody who might think that Jessica's ability to knock pegs in was limited and this is a cosmetic photo shot would be absolutely right. (well, they helped a bit!!)


Work out the way. It was time to play. Now as I said the lease was better than expected and came equipped with swings, slides and climbing apparatus but after the novelty of that had worn off it was time to get the logbarrow out. Let me introduce the children present. Jessica of course, then there was Emily (John and Lisa's daughter and Jessica's make-up buddy), In the barrow with Alex was Cameron, and finallyTom, who belonged to Andrew and Michelle ,
(close neighbours of John and Lisa's) who we were meeting for the first time and gave us some more good people to get to know and some testosterone filled play for Alex. The little girl was Kira. We had no idea who she was but we seemed to partly adopt her over the weekend. She appeared from nowhere, demanding her turns and then came back to us at ten minute intervals asking if we'd cooked any marshmallows for her. No, come back later, was the calm, often repeated reply.


She came back later. Joining all the other children who all absolutely loved burning marshmallows, hated the taste and proceeded to force feed the adults with their charcoal covered delicacies. Here sit Andrew, John and myself after consuming several of these, some wine, fine barbecue food and a beer or three (or four in my case). The fire did a fine job of keeping us warm and we were entertained by a clear starlit night, brush tailed possums getting tooth decay from marshmallow remnants and Lisa's damper bread which was absolutely.......
cooked. Tina would loved to have brought her guitar but John and Lisa had insisted there wasn't room for it!


The morning after the night before and all was well at camp. The tents were dry, the fire was lit again and breakfast was a well catered civilised affair. Time to strike camp and re-stock the firewood. This is where I proved to Andrew as well as John that I have a high inept rating when it comes to "bloky" things. He watched me make five pathetic indentations into a log before taking over and making five instant splits. I smiled admiringly, relegated myself again to logbarrow pushing and it was almost time to go.


But not before I, along with the younger half of my family managed to mess up one more time. Down below the campsite was the Patterson river and there it was that John, Andrew, Emily, Cameron and Tom (Cameron's older brother a good playmate for Alex and a fine soccer player)
leaped from log to log and tree to tree athletically to get from bank to bank. Here I am below, getting in the way of the photo as I decide whether I dare cross the six inch gap to the next stone.


I was not the first to fall in though that was Jessica's acheivement. I was not the second either that was Alex's acheivement. The moral is that approaching something too tentatively or carefully is not always the best way but has good comedy value. Credit to Jess and Alex who both saw the funny side of their dunking and with clothes well and truly packed suffered wet bottoms for the next few hours without complaint. Here Jessica and I, slowly but surely made our way back across the river. All this time Lisa, Tina and Michelle just enjoyed the show and had a good chat.


A great weekend was almost marred at our lunch stop as Cameron's head argued with a lump of concrete but first aid was swift. Meanwhile I was left in charge of the sausages which I didn't mess up and everyone went home tired but happy. Tiredness reflected in the fact that Tina and I were practically dribbling on the Upholstery during the final leg of the drive. We want to camp at the beach next time. Although John may be thinking "What next time?"

Wine, dined...I'm 39!

Thank you for my cards, pressies & flowers for my birthday. Jessica & Chris did me a birthday table, I had a bit of a lie-in and several lovely long chats on the telephone. I took Alex to his first away soccer game, where he reassured me that he would win and try to score( a bit tricky because he was put in goal in the second half!) They did win , however, 1-0.
We went to Mama Mex for a special meal in the evening. (Alex's request). It aims to have the best of both worlds in relation to Italian/ Mexican cuisine. More of a Jack of all trades master of none we thought.



On the Sunday it was Mother's Day (apparently it was also Mother's day in many other countries too...like Denmark, USA etc).
It was great...spoilt again! Off we went to the Hunter Valley, where everyone else seemed to have brought their mums too! After our picnic we toured some wineries and then set off to the one I had seen in the book; a clever concept and my dream place.... a winery, with an art gallery!



The Mistletoe Gallery had it all...great wines, paintings and sculptures, set in beautiful surroundings...I loved it!



So, on an art theme, I thought you might like to see the two leaf paintings I have done; sorry about the blurred quality of the shots , but hopefully you can see, one is Sharon's dog, Fal (neighbour across the road who has been so helpful) and the other is a New Forest scene for Gloria's (Michelle's Mum) birthday.

Teacher in shock "not ticking boxes" crime scandal.

EXHIBIT A EXHIBIT B


OK let's play spot the difference. I'm opening myself for all sorts of offensive observations but the focus is supposed to be on the two pieces of planning. I have learnt in recent meetings that the principle behind planning is to not make any significant attempt to write down what you are actually going to teach. The Exhibit A plan is not to be trusted. Exhibit B is a fine accurate account of my teaching strategies. The reason why? I put ticks on it. Putting ticks and initials next to a plan proves you did it apparently. Now doing this at the end of the day or week perhaps I can see some point in. Currently however I have been asked to go back over 11 weeks of planning in 12 sets of plans and put little ticks against all my plans. A bit tricky as some of the plans had already been thrown away. It's called registration. Here is the gist of the conservation that followed when I confessed to "losing" the previous term's plans.

"You should not have done that those plans are the property of New South Wales Education Department."
"Sorry about that"
"You will have to print them again"
"Will the school pay for a new ink Cartridge?"
"No put them on a USB stick and print them at school"
"Then what."
"Go through your plans and register them properly."
"But I didn't know about this"
"It was on a handout you were given in week one. If these things are given to you you must read them."
"But in England registration is what you call a roll"
"You're not in England now. You should have asked"
"I didn't know what the question was."
"That's not my problem."
"So can I just go through and tick everything. I can't remember everything I did in February."
"No you must cross reference with all your books."
"that would take ages"
"You have three development days. Use one "
"But reports are coming up and I'd like to take one then to help me get on top of them."
"Nobody else has a day to help with reports, why should you?"
"why do I have to register it anyway what's the point?"
"I'm accountable we could both go to court, are you willing to take that risk?"
"Yes is that alright?"
"No!"

So any teachers out there with any hatred of box ticking be glad you are not a teacher in NSW.
Is the conversation above 100%? About 90% it is a combination of various conversations with two of my senior colleagues rather than a one off dialogue but every quote is pretty much accurate. My favourite one is the prospect of getting a criminal record for not ticking boxes. Oh well I didn't come out here to find things the same I suppose.
While I'm at it. Here are the other things that make my school day a little bit longer. Sorry to bore any Non teachers who read this.

• Duties are everyday rather than once a week (Twice a day if you have after school duty)
• Assemblies are only once a fortnight( I will never see an assembly because they "kindly" gave me my Non contact time during the assembly)
• Non contact time is two one hour (hardly worth getting your books out) slots.
• I plan two subjects back home. I plan twelve here.
• Teaching assistant support was one hour a week last term but it is somebody else's turn now.
• Document wallets,boxes of tissues, paint palettes and glue sticks are a luxury the school can't afford. My paint palettes are chinese take away containers and the other three you ask parents to bring in or pay for. We have 13 rugby balls to teach two classes. 5 belong to the school and I borrowed 8 from David's garage (sorry Joel and Liam if you're reading this).
• It is my turn with the computer suite this term. This means my pupils will have 4 lessons each this year. I may also start getting into trouble for using the school data projector.
• We only get 11 weeks holiday instead of 13. (Cue non teachers sarcastic voice "Only 11 weeks? Oh POOR you!")

3 plus points:

School day finishes at 2:45pm. Note for non teachers. That is when the children leave. Not the teachers. Not most of them anyway.

You get long service leave (not much use to me).

We get the Queen's official birthday off. God bless her. Presumably this is the only thing that is preventing Australia from becoming a republic.

Despite all this the staff over here keep smiling (occasionally through gritted teeth) and the children are learning... I think.

Just one more hump...or two!

So, on the final day Jess and Alex were dying to go on a camel ride, while Chris went off to touch Uluru and go for a walk around the base.
The kids were impressed with the guy in charge of the camels because he had a Blue Peter badge, which he proudly declared had been given to him by the presenter, Connie, who he thought was ' a bit tasty!'



Even the camel smiled!



Bye, bye Uluru.
Alex was sitting by the window of the aeroplane and refused to take a photo. I got the hump for the second time that day...so this is the best we could manage, leaning over 2 chairs!!

Uluru Sunset.

Day time shot of Uluru and then .....it's the sunset shots. The brochure mentioned vermillion shades. "Reckon it's just different shades of brown" moaned Chris.




The final one does have Uluru in the background...honest!!(try squinting...or change the angle of your computer!) In the foreground are two tired children with their semi (we paid enough for this tour let's dig into the complimentary wine) inebriated parents. Despite their drooping eyelids the children were then marched off to do some stargazing. After which Jessica asked "Why do adults get amazed so easily?", as our enthusing "WOWS!" fell on deaf ears. They were mildly impressed by Saturn's rings through the telescope.

Day 2: Uluru...Rocks around the clock!

Up at 5.30 to go and see the sunrise at Uluru.......along with a thousand other people!!
( I couldn't understand how I'd seen so many photos showing the whole of Uluru..because I couldn't fit it in one shot! Wide angle lense I decided sadly! Everyone had one except me!)
Chris joked that this sign was warning of Uluru ahead!!



So, we got to the place they call, 'Chicken's Rock'; due to the fact that when you get up there, you see just how steep it is and decide to come down again! There is just a single chain to support you to the top! The children raced up to this point before we had a chance to tell them that, actually, the Aborigines don't like people climbing Uluru, due to sacred reasons and they get very upset when people hurt themselves or get killed on their ground! Perhaps they have to clean it up. We decided to honour these feelings....and the children , once told, were suitably sorry! (but liked it!!)




After breakfast at the Cultural Centre (definitely the best view in town!) we met our guide and interpreter for the Liru Walk; we were informed that the men needed to carry the spears and Jessica was offered the container to carry.(she wanted a spear, like Alex!), but eventually she was happy with the special digging stick.


Our Aboriginal guide was fascinating, describing and showing how they make a glue-type substance, which is very strong and hardens enough to go around a stick, to make a club, to whack the Kangaroo with!! That is, after the hunter has followed the marks left by a long, trailing spear! We learnt how to throw spears too, and even the girls got a go!! Apparently the guide was most fluent in his native Aboriginal tongue but suspicion that this could be a yarn for us tourists was confirmed when he told his young interpreter to "now go and fetch the bloody thing" after a particlarly impressive spear throw.


Our guide showed us where all the tools came from...it was incredible. Why can't they just go to B & Q like the rest of us.



Our first close up sight of the Olgas or Kata-Tjuta (meaning "many heads")

The Red Centre....Day 1: Kings Canyon.

Arrived at Dessert Gardens hotel and our self catering Emu Park apartments were tucked behind. Cool to be first drop off for any coaches....so we always got good seats!



Sorry to show you a boring pool picture...but this had to be blogged as the coldest pool we think we have ever been in!! How can it be 30 outside and the water be cold enough to make your head hurt? How do children go in anything?



Kings Canyon was a 3 hour drive away...another early morning start....4.30am: Kangaroos in the headlights, on the road...alive! made it worthwhile for me!
Chris did the rim walk, up "Cardiac hill", for 3 hours, while the children and I did the tame 90 mins along the base...very pleasant discussing trees etc and the poor tour guide couldn't get away from Jessica's incessant talking! Alex just sulked because Daddy had gone off and he thought he could have done the 3 hour walk!!








































Chris took some photos using Alex's camera...

On the way back....what did we see?
You could be forgiven for thinking that this is Uluru.....it's not! It's Mount Connor! (the Aborigines haven't renamed this one yet!)
















We made Uluru in various forms......painted it using the red sand, mixed with glue and Chris created Uluru from mash and tomato, with basil sauce? It was like watching Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.









Attractive fly nets....but the hazard of hot weather!

A few extra items from Canberra.

The National Museum was a brilliant bit of free entertainment...they could easily charge...we would have paid! It was a fascinating mix of things; our favourite section was a clever computer generated programme; it took your photo and then you had to choose various options to design your own alien vehicle or house; when about 10 people had completed this task we all put on 3D glasses and watched a virtual tour around this new alien town , which contained all our houses, moving cars and photos!!


A mapped out image of Australia...full of ideas and ideals.



We just missed the special chimes from this tower or carillon to be precise; It was a gift from British Government to Canberra. Better than a CD and a pair of socks I suppose but you not the sort of thing you can take back to the shops if you don't like it.



Is that a strange antenna growing from Chris's head?



Parliament House was a lot more interesting than we thought it would be; there was a horrible smell of manure though...(I wonder if that was the politicans talking !!)



Our final stop was to Questacon. It had come highly recommended so we had to go. It was
brilliant...full of interactive Science stuff......on all 5 floors;we did our best but we will have to go back because there was so much there that we didn't do it justice!
The vertical drop made all of our hearts go....Jessica took several attempts to pluck up the courage.....amazingly Alex went first and just did it! A 6m drop in total. Just another 128 m and we'll be able to do this in New Zealand!
The other photo was a screen which projected their images as they moved.
(Our camera doesn't take a very good dark shot...sorry!)