Holidaying like Australians

Given an infinite amout of time, money and energy we'd probably be spending the final month going to Perth, The Great Ocean Road, The "top End" and many of the other bits of this vast island we have not done. These will have to wait for another day. The alternative game plan is to spend some time holidaying like your everyday Australian Citizen does. We got a taste of that at Forster recently and this was more of the same with the added bonus of being with John, Lisa, Sarah and Emily (AKA The Pateman Family). The basic strategy seems to be, keep the accommodation simple and get as close to the beach as you possibly can and get onto it as soon as you can. The venue for this particular "Pateman adventure" was Umina Beach Holiday Park 90 minutes South of Warners Bay.



Time for breakfast as our little Aussie made the two minute trek back to the Cabin.



So how to spend the day? Take the ferry to another beach. Not just any old beach though as it was Chris' turn to go to Palm Beach which in case you'd forgotten is the adopted venue for Summer Bay in Home and Away.



Stupidly left our swimmers behind though so after sitting on the beach for a while and overhearing the lifeguards gloating over the Ashes progress, we strolled round to the rocks for some family shots.



Then let Jess, Sarah and Emily go for a dip in the Ocean Pool. They sat out for a team photo; probably relieved to get their feet off the slimy bottom.



Pizzas in the evening and a very late game of Perudo , followed the drama at the BMX bike track. Tina took the kids and Alex came back very excited "I went really fast and the hills were really steep and I skidded really well round the corners....... By the way Jessica fell off and hurt herself really badly!" 30 seconds later I heard the mournful of cries of our little girl with big grazes on her knee, thigh, stomach , elbow and hands. I wanted to blog the injuries but did not feel it quite appropriate. Just remember your first big bike fall and fill in the gaps yourself. Anyway no broken bones, at least but we abandoned plans for Sunset views at the Waratah lookout. Instead we exchanged it for cloudy ones the next morning.



The rest of our weekend then just flew by. Cloudy but still good enough for another surf at another beach. "Sausage sizzle" for lunch, time for just one more swim and then home. Apart from the stress of losing our car keys for an hour on Saturday and the stress of an injured daughter and our insistence that they play dice games until half past midnight, I think John, Lisa, Sarah and Emily enjoyed our company. If they didn't. Well they only have to put up with us for another month.

35 and rising 35 and falling.

Well with a regular barrage of how many days until we go home and how many days until Christmas and how many days until the end of term and how many swimming, drama, cricket,piano lessons have I got left..... we decided a countdown claendar was needed. Anybody blog checking regularly or the slightest bit concerned about us coming home will realise that this countdown calendar is now already one week old.

Not convinced by the bedtime pose I also got Alex into the "before and after" shot with him in his uniform, back on the balcony 10 months after proudly wearing his uniform for the first time.

All it appears to prove is that I was a better photographer 10 months ago but look more closely and the boy on the left is certainly higher up the verandah railings. If he is lucky he may not be as stumpy as his Dad.

35 and rising? This statement comes one of the most curious bits of weather I have ever seen. We got it on video quite well but as far as photos are concerned all I can do is another crap comparism. Here was the view from our house at 4:30 pm last week. It was in the middle of a storm. Crap dark photo! so what?

Well here was the same view and another storm this week. so what was going on?

Well 35 degrees was the temperature a couple of days earlier. It was now up to 38 and Australia was starting to burn. The worst bushfires were in the Blue Mountains 4 hours Southwest from us. On this day the wind picked up and the storms were brewing and for about an hour we felt like we had space travelled to Venus (quick Science lesson? "The atmosphere of venus is very hot and thick.You wouldn't survive a visit to the surface of the planet you could not breathe the air"). Ash was falling as well as rain and our clothes smelt like we'd stood next to a bonfire. Jess and Alex were convinced we were about to be burned alive and found it hard to comprehend that the fires and smoke causing this phenomenom were at least two hours away. Once it all passed away we were left with the most curious looking sunset. After the hail a few weeks earlier we are certainly getting a meteorological send off

Just messing about on the water.

A gorgeous Sunday morning but nothing on the agenda. Very frustrating and it was almost with disconsolate resignation that we decided "Well we'd better go to the beach then". At that moment though we got a call from Rosemary and Graham (another Warners Bay couple to have stumbled int0 the Chappell Social secretary this year.... remember Rosemary from Melbourne Cup day) inviting us to come out on the boat for the "arvo". We eagerly accepted but mistakenly thought that "on the boat" meant "on the boat" so just turned up in normal clothes. Tina was immediately sent back to get "swimmers" because the afternoon would involve just about every preposition that could precede ".... the boat". Behind, by, across, over ,under, you name it; it felt like we did it.

Here is where you lie on the boogie board hold onto the tow rope desperately and ride along whilst salt water rips off several layers of skin. I was doing quite well until I came off the board and my brain took another few seconds to register that I should let go of the rope. 10pm that evening salt water was still dribbling out whenever I bent over.



Graham was superb with the kids and Alex's highspot was getting the chance to do some steering. Tina and I sat back nervously but the boy did good.



He also enjoyed the prospect of Mummy or Daddy being flipped into the water after crossing a wake but I was the only one to oblige.




Back to the shore to catch our breathe.




Then off again. Jessica rode with Rosemary and Graham's daughter Lucy as well as with her Mum but finally decided she was happiest on her own. This is probably alot to do with the fact that there is no chance of cracking skulls with the person nearest to you.
After "doughnuts" and "boogie boards" I left the proper water skiing to Tina. She had one excellent run and was only halted by the fact that we could not take her out into the Pacific Ocean to surf and had to turn around. After this though the muscles were gone and the hands were wet so after 20+ failed attempts followed by a few more "just one more.." requests she finally admitted defeat and we hauled her weary body back into the boat. No photo of her successful run I'm afraid; that was on video and all I got after that were lots of photos of big splashes




Back on shore. We were extremely grateful to our boat owning buddies but it was also nice to sit back and watch serenely as other foolhardy souls splashed, crashed and did their own version of aquatic chiropractic techniques.

Sculpture by the sea....Bondi.

Well it meant 3 hours in a car but we arrived at Bondi feeling much better if not quite so worthy than when we finished the city2surf 3 months ago. We got our lunch courtesy of a Lonely Planet recommendation from a juice bar which went and got it's name by looking at Hairdressing salon names and how they can't resist an obvious pun. It was called "Sejuiced". The children resisted the offer of a chicken caesar wrap and went for "Maccers". (luckily we had some free vouchers!...so it wasn't so bad when we didn't have to pay for the stuff!)



The reason for our journey was not a day on the beach. We subscribe to the "Novocastrian view" that the beaches in Newcastle are just as good, but the cliff walk to the south is spectacular and with 100 sculptures waiting to be viewed by Tina's artistic eye it had to be worth a visit.
If anybody can see a link between this photo and a previous one do not tell Tina. This one was right at the start of the walk and ended up being Tina's favourite.



Now if you thought the beach was crowded. Look at the amount of people walking here.



Well we managed to fight back the crowds to get our photos. Jess was probably number 11 in line to sit in the bench next to "Birdman". What does he represent? "banal urban narrative, cultural tourism and elements of magic realism are all played out in this enigmatic bird/man figure. Superhero? visionary? Or a guy dressed up to sell corporate products in a supermarket?"



Winner of our artistic "up your own backside" statement though was a pair of copper legs of which the artist said "My sculpture reflects the utilisation of western aesthetic constructional principles and geometrical balance concepts. Inspired by the quintessential philosophy of Yin and Yang."
"No it doesn't! It's just legs!"

Anyway artistic technobabble aside here were our favourites. Anyone familiar with Tina's artwork will know why she liked this one.



I was being more geometric. No prizes for guessing what this one was called.




In case you had not sussed it's the same 4 blocks from differing angles.

Gravity defying large gentleman.




and a load of black and red bamboo canes; which were enjoyed by the children because they did not have large "DO NOT TOUCH" signs next to them



They also liked the state of the art dog kennels.



One and a half hours later we were at Tamarama beach, greeted by "Unveiled" which depicts the vulnerability of a woman's beauty in its many aspects.


The last smattering of collections were on the beach itself. Fantastic but it added up to about 1/2 million dollars worth of artwork sitting on the beach. It either needs some clever security or Australia is an obscenely trustworthy nation. Jess and Alex didn't care they just enjoyed running inside the shell thingy.



Our final favourite entitled "Hot with the chance of a late storm" is retailing at $22,000 and comes complete with a strained rendition of Greensleeves.

Cricket and U2.

So you get home from work on a Monday evening and there is your wife with an overnight case ready. "Quick have a shower we're going to see U2!" We had discussed it earlier in the day. Decided it was not feasible but being the little terrier that she is, Tina found her way around all the little stumbling blocks. So 4 hours after putting the school bag down and $540 dollars poorer there we were outside the Telstra Stadium with Chris and Richard.





A vast amount of money but it's OK that was for all of us. We didn't mind the money but were paranoid about having our camera confiscated hence the tiny photos courtesy of Tina's mobile.


We were well back and the size of the photo makes us look even further back but the bar and the toilets were very near so we were happy. What of the concert itself? Well our last outing to a concert venue was Portsmouth Pyramids and the Magic numbers but this was a whole new ball game. For me personally it was my first "BIG" Concert so I was just mesmorised all evening.
I waited in anticipation for the cry of "Good evening Sydney" from Bono and he did not disappoint. It was just then a matter of crossing your fingers that he did not spend the evening lecturing us about poverty or playing stuff we'd never heard of. No worries! All the hits were laid on for us and when we did get the poverty push it was done in a dramatic way. House lights down. "Light up your mobile phones" requested Bono. Then as we oohed and aahed at the sight of 30,000 little screens making the stadium flicker he put up the number to text to give our support. The band played on and on and on 4 encores and a couple of train rides later it was 1:30am and we were back in Hornsby. Self congratulatory for our "Seize the moment" mentality but unsurprisingly knackered.



OK now here's the confession bit. Sometimes your body says that's enough and when I woke at 5:30am after 4 hours sleep I was forced into the decision that I felt like crap (I told you the bar was close) and was physically incapable of getting my butt out of bed and making the two hour drive back to school. Now had I then huddled in Hornsby for a few hours that may have been OK but as we sat over breakfast a further thought crossed our mind. Aren't England playing in Sydney today? Should we? No we mustn't! but we did. So as the England team huddled on the pitch I huddled in the corner at the SCG (Home of Australian cricket) checking the whereabouts of every single TV Camera, with my hat and sunglasses permanently on.



Tina meanwhile ran around harassing players. "Over here Ashley."



Andrew Flintoff looked far more relaxed than I did.




Jess and Alex were at school while all this was going on. Well some of the Chappell family had to be. I think they would have been far happier there though. They hated Aussie Rules Football because it took 3 1/2 hours so 5 hours of cricket would have driven them insane. I tried my best to relax but I'm not too good at deceit and as much as I tried to remind myself that the physical exertion needed to watch cricket was not as much as standing in front of 30 demanding Australian youths the whole scenario felt a bit weird.


Tina finally egged me on to shuffle to the boundary fence for a quick shot but I was rapidly back under cover after this.



Even the advertising hoardings were full of foreboding.



So at 3 o' clock we made our way home. I never knew watching cricket could be so exhausting. Did this count as "taking a sickie?" . Maybe / maybe not but if it did then doing it to watch cricket meant that we could cross off an experience of two Australian pastimes in one day because from what I've seen and heard irrational absences are considered the norm.

Final fun in the Forster Sun.

Having got up at 5:30 we were into Forster (pronounced Foster) by 9 0'clock. The 4th "monkee" was taking the photo as the children lined up with Dad to catch the first wave of the summer.



Chris tried to do the coaching but Alex usually went further than anyone else.



We checked out a couple more beaches on the drive back to Blueys in the afternoon. Catherine's was good for a bit dune jumping.



But with the Ashes on the horizon "Giles" and "Flintoff" did a bit of practice whilst the deep fielders paddled in the water.



Next day Sunday. I can't believe we got up at 5:30 again! This time the children were forced to come too. No dolphins for them but a teacher is never off duty so we inflicted an impromptu Science Lesson upon them.



Could have lazed around there for another day but Jessica the drama queen had to get Newcastle for her "Sugababes" dance routine. Two big plusses though. Some gorgeous early morning shots of Smith's Lake



Plus a breakfast even more ostentatious than we had in Canberra. This one was at the Waterfront at the inappropriately named Tea Gardens.



Your hash browns were lumped on top of Ciabatta bread and your hot chocolate had a spider's web swirled on it. Alex does not look too impressed though.

Blueys Day Two... Dolphins at Dawn

So there I was 5:30 am, going through the "I really don't want to get out of bed but when a man's gotta a man's gotta go" thought processes. We had left the curtains open all night so my bleary eyes were instantly cleared by the prospect of a glorious sunrise. Tina was promptly kicked out of bed, kettle was on and it was off to the beach, me still in my pyjamas. As gorgeous as Uluru was the fact that you were sharing the spiritual moment with 2000 others took away a bit of mystique. This sunrise was all ours.....



The fact that we were just north of Seal Rocks (second most easterly point in Australia) meant that we were also one of the first in the country to get it.



The sense of awe and wonder got to me and the opportunity of walking on the beach just in my pyjamas(+thongs) was too good to miss.




I can't tell you what I felt like doing when the Pod of Dolphins, drifted across the sunrise. OK this one won't get in the National Geographic but they are there............. somewhere........... Ithink. Whatever, needless to say when we talk top ten Australian moments this one will get under the Radar.



So there we have it. Sun was up, the shadows were long, the tea was cold, the beach was still empty and the grins were broad.


There is some poetic statement needed here about how our impact in Australia is like footprints in the sand. If I were DH Lawrence I could stretch out 4 pages of tedious Literature about it but I'll leave him to his extended metaphors and I'll blog pretty pictures.



So where were the kids when all this was happening? In bed asleep. We left them a note.



Needless to say they woke up and never saw it, we returned to find them in a Zombie like state on the sofa, completely unaware we had even left our beds.